Hotter than Hades

When I was little and it was really hot out, I remember my parents saying it was "hotter than Hades." This phrase now reminds me of two things; firstly, my parent's ability to replace bad words in a sentence to get across the point but not lose the meaning ( for example -gosh darn-it, oh my gosh, shoot...) and secondly, the summer heat of Nelson. Now summer can get hot in Nelson, but there is no comparison to the Caribbean. We are dying here... and I say that truthfully because if I actually stayed outside all day long I would have heat stroke and die. I have never ever felt such heat as what we are experiencing right now. And it is only going to get worse. Every morning there is sweat trickling down my back before I even make it to work. I have started taking three shirts to work each day. One for the morning, one for after lunch and the last shirt for the late afternoon. I can sweat through a T-shirt in under 10 minutes flat on any given day; a rather embarrassing yet impressive fact. This phenomenon also leads me to feel like I have been working out, when in fact, I have not left my desk... rather dangerous thinking if you ask me. It is not uncommon for Blake to sit down at the computer for 10 minutes and stand up with wet marks on his shorts from sweating. Thankfully humans don't melt, but I am beginning to understand how it might feel to actually do so. Last weekend after a visit to our beautiful neighbourhood beach, I decided I would run home. It was only a 4km run, no big feat. Blake was a little concerned and reminded me that it was quite humid out, but I assured him that I was quite capable of a short run home. Ha! No less than 500 metres in and I was wishing he would double back with the car and pick me up. By the end of the first kilometre my lower legs felt like they were on fire, and it wasn't from my lack of athleticism, but rather from the hot asphalt reflecting the burning sun. I felt like I was running in an incinerator. Each breath was sickly hot and heavy with humidity. I was wet from head to toe and could have slid down a dry slip-and-slide with only sweat as a lubricant. Even the snakes were hot. I nearly stepped on a small boa who was too lazy and hot to move! By the time I got home I was seeing mirages of water- so I had no choice but to jump into our pool and cool off... except our pool is the temperature of bath water after you have been sitting in it for 45 minutes. Not very refreshing. I can't say that we were naive about the heat before we moved here, but I think we were definitely disillusioned. I tend think of hot days as dry. That is the key difference. Not only is it 35 degrees here, but with humidity it is more like 45 degrees. You can actually taste the salt in the air when you step out in the morning, and the heat is like a duvet cover that follows you around all day long. I feel 10 pounds heavier after stepping out from our apartment. I'm pretty sure the animals are suffering too, since the roads and trees are full of lethargic iguanas, snakes and lizards. The worst part about this whole thing is that it is only May! Its just going to get worse! The next time someone says that it is hotter than Hades out, I am going to remind them that there is a place called Hell on this island... and its just as hot as South Sound!

Pictured above: Hanging out in Hell, Blake the sweaty mess after a run